brush up your shakespeare

Man clasping hand from a cloud, possibly William Shakespeare, 1588
Nicholas Hilliard


Cole Porter's
Brush Up Your Shakespeare

Robert Nichols, David Garrison
London Sinfonietta - John McGlinn


TWO GANGSTERS
[FIRST MAN & SECOND MAN]
The girls today in society
Go for classical poetry,
So to win their hearts one must quote with ease
Aeschylus and Euripides.

One must know Homer and, b'lieve me, Bo,
Sophocles, also Sappho-ho.
Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope,
Dainty debbies will call you a dope.

But the poet of them all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'
Is the poet people call
The bard of Stratford-on-Avon.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.

2ND GANGSTER
Just declaim a few lines from "Othella"
And they'll think you're a helluva fella.

1ST GANGSTER
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er,
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer.

2ND GANGSTER
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing,

BOTH
What are clothes? "Much Ado About Nussing."
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.

1ST GANGSTER
With the wife of the British Embessida
Try a crack out of "Troilus and Cressida."

2ND GANGSTER
If she says she won't buy it or tike it,
Make her tike it, what's more, "As You Like It."

BOTH
If she says your behaviour is heinous,
Kick her right in the "Coriolanus."
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.

2ND GANGSTER
If you can't be a ham and do "Hamlet,"
They will not give a damn or a damnlet.

1ST GANGSTER
Just recite an occasional sonnet
And your lap'll have "Honey" upon it.

2ND GANGSTER
When your baby is pleading for pleasure,

BOTH
Let her sample your "Measure for Measure."
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.
Forsooth,
And they'll all kowtow,
I' faith,
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.

1ST GANGSTER
Better mention "The Merchant of Venice"
When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace.

2ND GANGSTER
If her virtue, at first, she defends - well,
Just remind her that "All's Well That Ends Well."

1ST GANGSTER
And if still she won't give you a bonus,

BOTH
You know what Venus got from Adonis!
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.
Thinks thou,
And they'll all kowtow,
Odds-bodkins,
All kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.

2ND GANGSTER
If your goil is a Washington Heights dream,
Treat the kid to "A Midsummer Night's Dream."

1ST GANGSTER
If she then wants an all-hy-herself night,
Let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or "Twelfth Night."

BOTH
If because of your heat she gets huffy,
Simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!"
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow,
We trow,
And they'll all kowtow.


From the double CD
Cole Porter - Kiss Me, Kate
1990 EMI Studio Recording
London Sinfonietta conducted by John McGlinn